When to Divorce Your Financial Planner

I’ll never forget the first time I met Sarah. She walked into my office looking exhausted, clutching a folder filled with investment statements she barely understood. She had been working with a financial advisor for years, but instead of feeling confident about her future, she felt dismissed, confused, and—her words, not mine—"like an idiot" every time she asked a question.

Her story is one I hear far too often.

Sarah had been with a well-known financial advisory firm for over a decade. Her advisor, a man at a big box financial advisory, always seemed more interested in talking at her than to her. He focused on investment returns, brushed past her questions about tax implications and never once mentioned estate planning for her kids.

When she asked for help filling out financial forms, he’d sigh and tell her, “It’s all pretty straightforward.” And when she admitted she had made financial mistakes in the past, he made her feel like those missteps defined her.

“I thought that was normal,” she told me. “I thought that’s just how finance planners are.”

But it’s not normal, and it’s not okay.

If you’re working with a financial planner who makes you feel small, unheard or unsupported, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

Here’s when you should think about divorcing your financial planner:

1. They Make You Feel Stupid

A good financial advisor educates and empowers you. If your advisor dismisses your questions or makes you feel embarrassed about past financial decisions, that’s a red flag. Financial planning isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. You deserve an advisor who respects your journey and helps you move forward.

2. They Don’t Help with the Big Picture

Sarah’s advisor only talked about investments. He never helped her with budgeting, understanding her taxes, navigating career changes, planning for her kids’ college or making sure her estate plan was in place. Investments are just one piece of a much bigger puzzle. Your financial advisor should take a comprehensive approach, helping you create a plan that fits your entire life—not just your portfolio.

3. They Ignore the Tax Implications of Financial Decisions

When Sarah asked about how her investments or other money decisions would affect her taxes, her advisor told her, “You’ll have to ask a CPA about that.”

While financial planners aren’t tax preparers, they should absolutely educate you about how your taxes might be affected when you’re making moves with your money—both now and in the future.

Your money doesn’t exist in a vacuum—investments, income, taxes and even your estate plan are all connected. If your advisor isn’t helping you with to plan to minimize taxes and referring you to a trusted CPA, that’s a problem.

4. They Don’t Walk You Through the Details

Sarah often felt lost when filling out financial forms—whether it was a beneficiary designation, a retirement plan rollover or a transfer form for an account she inherited.

Her advisor never took the time to explain things, leaving her to figure it out on her own. A great financial advisor ensures you understand every decision you make and walks you through the process (or completes it for you) every step of the way.

5. They Don’t Listen to What Matters to You

Sarah’s priorities weren’t just about growing her investments. She wanted to make sure she could take time off to care for her aging parents. She wanted a plan for her kids’ future. She wanted to feel financially secure in case of an emergency.

But her advisor never asked about those things—he only talked about returns and market trends. A good financial planner listens and makes sure your plan aligns with your actual life, not just your portfolio balance.

Finding the Right Fit

When Sarah finally made the decision to leave her advisor, she felt relief—but also frustration. “I wasted so many years thinking he was the expert, and I was the problem,” she told me.

If you see yourself in Sarah’s story, know this: You are not the problem. A financial advisor works for you, and you deserve someone who respects, educates and supports you.

Sarah found a financial advisor who took the time to understand her goals, helped her create a realistic financial plan, and—most importantly—made her feel in control of her financial future. If you’re not getting that from your financial advisor, it may be time for a change.

And just like in a bad marriage, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is walk away.

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Take that first step today and give yourself the grace to learn and grow. You deserve it! For more tips like these, download my free ebook series that covers debt management, growing your income to save more, investing wisely and retirement planning. To learn what it's like to work with a financial advisor, you can book a free call with Life Story Financial.